How can parents address issues that are perceived as problematic at school? Below, we highlight some ways of initiating constructive dialogue and building effective cooperation with school staff. A trusting partnership between home and school is often crucial for ensuring that issues are handled in a constructive way.
Parents and teachers share a common responsibility to create safe environments that support learning, personal development and sound values. This cooperation becomes particularly important when teaching touches on areas that may influence children’s self-image and ways of thinking. As curricula and syllabuses often allow room for interpretation, dialogue, mutual understanding and a shared perspective are central to how teaching is shaped in practice.
Many teachers are deeply committed to their role and to the best interests of their pupils. They want to support children’s development and wellbeing, and often share parents’ perspectives, not least through their own experiences as parents. When parents and teachers meet in open dialogue, conditions are created for working together to strengthen children’s self-esteem, convey sound values and act as positive support in their development.
A long-term perspective and shared vision
At many schools today, there is a lack of established forums where parents and school staff can engage in open-ended discussions about the content of teaching. Creating such meeting spaces makes it possible to discuss, calmly and factually, how teaching affects children’s self-image and values.
When dialogue is absent, the risk of misunderstandings and unnecessary polarisation increases. Well-functioning cooperation, by contrast, can build trust over time. Collaboration does not need to begin with the most complex or sensitive issues, but can gradually develop through discussions about shared interests and goals. Once a relationship has been established, it becomes more natural to raise more challenging topics, such as issues relating to children’s self-image and patterns of thought.
When parents and teachers are well informed and work together, the risk is reduced that teaching—whether intentionally or unintentionally—contributes to unhealthy perceptions among children. Effective collaboration across several schools can also lay the foundation for broader and more constructive dialogue at school authority and political levels.
Measures – building cooperation step by step
Below are suggestions for how parents and teachers can create good conditions for cooperation. Initially, the focus is on increasing knowledge and awareness. From there, more joint initiatives become possible.
Conversations between parents
It is often a strength for several parents to engage together. Many share similar concerns about how school teaching affects children’s self-image, values and mental wellbeing. Through discussion, parents can support one another and formulate questions in a factual and constructive manner.
Parents’ meetings
Parents’ meetings are a natural opportunity to ask open and curious questions about the school’s work.
Example question: I understand that there have been updates to the curriculum. Could you tell us a bit about what is new and how the school is working with this in relation to pupils’ wellbeing and self-image?
If the conversation flows, it is possible to follow up gently with additional questions. If it becomes clear that there are many questions, parents may suggest that the school organises a dedicated information meeting.
Development meetings
Development meetings (parent–teacher conferences) can also provide space for brief, open questions.
Example question: Is there anything new in the teaching that would be useful for us parents to be aware of, particularly regarding pupils’ self-esteem and values?
Dialogue with school staff
If there are concerns or questions about how teaching may contribute to the normalisation of unhealthy self-images or patterns of thought, a personal meeting with, for example, the principal can be valuable. Face-to-face meetings often foster better understanding and strengthen relationships.
A good piece of advice is to be friendly, clear and well prepared. Write down a few concrete points and consider leaving them behind after the meeting. This can facilitate continued dialogue.
Written contact with school administration
An email to the principal requesting a general information meeting can be a good next step. To facilitate cooperation, more critical questions can be saved for a joint meeting where everyone receives the same information.
Such a meeting is in both the school’s and parents’ interests, as it contributes to greater transparency and trust.
General information meeting
When school staff themselves provide information about the content of teaching, it reaches more parents and creates clarity. During the meeting, questions can be asked in a neutral way that invites dialogue.
It is often of great value for more parents to have the opportunity to reflect on how teaching affects children’s self-image and patterns of thought, and for continued cooperation to be encouraged.
School councils and home–school collaboration
Forums where parents and school staff meet regularly provide opportunities to discuss the content of teaching in a calm and structured manner, with a focus on children’s development, mental health and core values.
Parents’ associations
Parents’ associations can, in addition to social activities, also serve as platforms for dialogue about how the school works to strengthen children’s self-esteem and counteract unhealthy ideals.
Parents and teachers collaborating
One option is to create collaborative groups consisting of both parents and teachers who jointly review teaching materials. In such contexts, it becomes possible to discuss how the school can meet curriculum requirements without contributing to the normalisation of unhealthy self-images or patterns of thought.
Communication and conflict management
Tensions sometimes arise. When relationships become strained, it is especially important to remind ourselves of the shared goal: children who feel safe and have a healthy self-image.
By listening, showing respect for one another’s experiences and assuming good intentions, it is often possible to rebuild trust. When we approach one another with understanding, the likelihood of being met in the same way increases. There are many good ideas on how to do this in the educational series Reaching others.
Discussion points – shared starting points
- Children develop at different rates and have different needs. It is therefore important that teaching takes children’s maturity into account and is designed in a way that supports security and understanding. Content that risks causing anxiety, confusion or uncertainty about one’s identity needs to be handled with care. In some situations, individual conversations may be appropriate, but this does not mean that the same content is suitable or helpful for all children in a group.
- Openness and transparency foster trust. When parents receive clear information about the content of teaching, cooperation between home and school is strengthened, and the opportunity to find shared solutions increases. It is therefore in the school’s interest to actively provide the information and transparency that parents request regarding the teaching their children encounter.
If information about a particular subject area is lacking, it can easily be perceived as uncertainty about the suitability of the content. Clear communication reduces the risk of misunderstandings and contributes to a more constructive dialogue about what belongs in primary school education.
Teaching materials
It is often a good idea to contact the school and ask to see the materials that pupils encounter in their teaching. It may also be valuable to gain insight into the teaching support and resources used by teaching staff in their work. In many cases, it is also possible to request copies of materials provided by the local authority.
Most schools are positive about sharing such information and see it as part of open cooperation with the home. If hesitation should arise for any reason, one can politely and factually refer to the Swedish principle of public access to information, which allows for insight into public documents.
The principle of public access to information
Swedish authorities have a duty to provide service to citizens and are subject to the principle of public access to information. Municipal schools are such authorities. Read more about the obligation of schools and public authorities to help and serve you.
Sources
- Reaching others, Us together, https://vitillsammans.net/en/na-fram-en/
- About the obligation of schools and public authorities to help and serve you, Us together, https://vitillsammans.net/en/fakta-en/juridik-en/about-the-obligation-of-schools-and-public-authorities-to-help-and-serve-you/
